Valentine’s Day is around the corner. There are many who must have already started planning this special day with their partners to make it more special, but there are also those with a sense of uncertainty about their relationships.
Anyone with a desire for a healthy, wholesome relationship is likely to have passing doubts or concerns or fears every now and then. Whether they are in a new relationship, a long-term relationship, or if they are currently single with past relationship issues or they doubt their ability to form a healthy, romantic relationship. This constant, looming feeling of uncertainty is called relationship anxiety.
It can stem from reasons, such as low self-esteem, trust issues, and societal expectations to name a few. It is possible for relationship anxiety in a relationship to be caused, manifested, and influenced by any number of factors.
Sometimes even when your relationship is going well, you may have unsettling questions, such as:
- Is this going well?
- Am I a good partner?
- Will this last forever?
- Do they truly love me?
- Will they leave me for someone else?
If you often find yourself asking these questions or similar other questions about your relationship, it indicates that you are experiencing relationship anxiety. But before you make any hasty conclusions about your potential as a partner or your relationship, you should know it is entirely normal. You are not alone.
Relationship anxiety is a common experience for those who yearn for a relationship with someone they truly love or already have one. For as long as you don’t allow it to affect your life and relationship, you are doing pretty well. However, if and when it starts affecting your everyday life or your relationship, it is time to take a step back and figure out a way to do something about it.
Here are some tips for couples and singles that help successfully overcome relationship anxiety:
1) Indulge in self-care
This constant urge to build a relationship or make it work can sometimes leave you feeling detached from yourself because of which it becomes important to take time for yourself from time to time. Do things that make you happy. Listen to your favourite songs. Watch your favourite show. Enjoy your favourite dish. Or, maybe just do nothing and relax.
2) Be who you are
Sometimes you may feel the need to behave a certain way to be accepted by a potential partner or to keep your relationship smooth, but never try to become someone you are not. It might save you or your relationship temporarily but it would create unnecessary misunderstandings and obstacles in the long run. To be true to someone, you need to be true to yourself. So, no matter how inconvenient the conversation is, always maintain your real self.
3) Ensure consistent communication
It’s a two-way street, but worth the effort. Without consistent communication, your relationship is bound to have issues as sometimes all that your partner needs is reassurance. So, it’s important to ensure that both of you can talk to each other freely about anything without fear of judgement or misinterpretation. Finding the right time for an important conversation is wise, but postponing it for later every time will not help.
4) Talk to a relationship counsellor
If your relationship anxiety is taking a toll on you in any way or overwhelming you even after trying what is suggested above, consider meeting an expert relationship counsellor or coach. They guide you in the right direction and help you overcome it with the right tools and techniques.
Here are some tips exclusively for couples, but if you are single, keep them in mind whenever you get into a relationship again:
5) Be mindful and considerate
While communicating with your partner, always remember that it is not only about what you want. It is also about what your partner wants. Sometimes people tend to be inconsiderate and communicate their concerns without focusing on their partners’ concerns or situations, which indicates a lack of accountability. So, while asking your partner to work on their weaknesses, make sure you are also being mindful of them, their environment and doing your bit to make the relationship better.
6) Focus on the now of your relationship
They say you can kill an idea, but you cannot kill an opportunity. We say, in some cases, you can kill an opportunity, too. It’s sensible to care about the future of your relationship, but sometimes worrying too much about it can kill your opportunity to make the most of your relationship (in the moment). It can ruin the possibility of a beautiful moment becoming a special one. So, make a habit of focusing on the now of your relationship and living in the moment with your partner.
Let’s face it! Regardless of whether you are single or committed, there’s no doubt it can be daunting and challenging to overcome relationship anxiety, but with the right people around you, the right tools, and reliable, step-by-step guidance, you can successfully do so. So, if you are single, do not let it stop your search for a healthy, wholesome relationship, and if you are in a relationship, do not let it stop you and your partner from enjoying it to the fullest and having a great Valentine’s Day celebration.
This Valentine’s Day, try these tips and overcome relationship anxiety (One day at a time).
A Note For You: Mind Alcove is your daily, go-to, safe space where you can journal your thoughts and feelings, track your mood, and your progress, and also be part of a caring, inclusive and anonymous community. Expressing yourself freely in a safe, secure space and understanding yourself better is the key to a strong and happy mind.
Do your bit with us for a healthy, happy relationship!