If your inner voice says, “You’re lame. You’re a loser. You can’t do anything right”, it’s time for a change.
What Is Self-Talk?
Throughout your life, you speak to many people, but the person you talk to the most is yourself. Even in silence, your self-talk shapes your thoughts, feelings, and actions 24/7. It is a non-stop internal conversation with yourself, often being negative in tone, analyzing & criticizing your behavior. You might not want to say these things to yourself but that’s how it always sounds, impacting your mental health more than what you say to others.
Why Does This Matter?
Your mental health is deeply influenced by how you talk to yourself. Positive self-talk boosts confidence and resilience, while negative self-talk can lead to self-doubt and anxiety. Recognizing when your mind takes a negative turn and redirecting it can change your mindset and approach towards your daily life.
Shifting From Negative Self-Talk.
You can’t stop your brain from thinking but you can control what it thinks. Choose a more compassionate language to build a stronger, more resilient mindset. Think of it this way: If you have to listen to the radio for the rest of your life, you might as well decide which stations and music to tune into. Right?
How To Create This Shift?
- Feel Empowered: Using words like “can” and “choose” to take control of your decisions.
- Develop A Growth Mindset: View setbacks as learning opportunities to encourage improvement and resilience.
- Become Realistic: Replacing absolutes like “always” or “never” with moderate terms like “sometimes”.
- Increase Self-Worth: Use affirmations like “I am enough” to reinforce self-acceptance.
Practical Changes in Self-Talk
Here are some simple examples of words you can replace in your daily life:
A. “Can’t” with “Can”
Negative: “I can’t do this.”
Positive: “I can find a way to overcome this challenge.”
B. “Should” with “Choose”
Negative: “I should do this.”
Positive: “I choose to do this because it aligns with my values.”
C. “Failure” with “Learning Opportunity”
Negative: “I failed.”
Positive: “I learned something valuable from this experience.”
D. “Weak” with “Resilient”
Negative: “I’m weak.”
Positive: “I am resilient and capable of overcoming challenges.”
E. “Always” or “Never” with “Sometimes” or “Occasionally”
Negative: “I always mess up.” or “I never get it right.”
Positive: “Sometimes, things don’t go as planned.” or “Occasionally, I make mistakes.”
F. “Perfect” with “Progress”
Negative: “I need to be perfect.”
Positive: “I’m making progress.”
G. “I’m Not Good Enough” with “Im Enough”
Negative: “I’m not good enough.”
Positive: “I am enough just as I am.”
It might sound simple, but these changes can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. Start by consciously noticing your self-talk and slowly replace the negative words. Over time, this practice will become more natural, leading to a healthier, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Don’t forget: Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend. Remember nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to mess up sometimes.
